Picture#7 June 2000

This picture is from one of my school picnics. At the end of the year my school would always have a whole school track and field day with teams, ribbons and awards. When I was younger, it was the highlight of my year. Each student would get a couple of dollars to spend at the canteen, and then you had to choose from the dazzling array of sweets, what you would spend your money on.

The day would start out with academic(above 95% average), Bible memory and character awards being handed out. Every year there I received academic and Bible memory awards. Your name would be called, and then your awards announced and you would run up the play structure. Shake Tim, the principal, and your teacher's hands and collect your certificates from your teacher. Then you slid down the slide.

I started going to Morweena school when my Mom became a teacher there. I was in grade three at the time. As her teacher's present that year my Mom got a chair and umbrella like the one pictured above.

Picture#6

For this picture I'm using two photos because they give me additional clues to that year. I know that it is my sisters birthday so that places these photos around June 3. I'm not even sure which year they are from though. There is only one envelope for fall'98 till 2000. I tried to count the candles, and I'm not sure, but I'm going to say these pictures were taken around 1999.

In the picture where my sister is opening gifts , my eyes are drawn to the bloodied bandage on my right forearm. I remember how that happened. We had friends over and they were chasing me. I think we were playing indoor/outdoor tag. I was trying to get out of our door which had a wooden frame with a thin glass window. The door must have been slippery or something because as I tried to push the door open my hand slipped and slid through the window. I don't remember the moment of it happening. It is like my memory skips. One moment I'm pushing the door open, and the next I'm screaming, I'm going to die! with blood streaming down my arm and a big chunk of glass embedded in my arm. I ended up going to the hospital, and getting three stitches.

I remember my Mom coming and calming me down. She quickly assessed the situation and talked me out of thinking I was going to die. Then she loaded me into the car and drove me to the emergency room. Once there she sat in operating room holding my other hand while the doctor put in three stitches on my right arm.

Picture#5 Summer '98

My Great Uncle Roger and Aunt Sam had just come to visit us on their motorcycle road trip and Uncle Roger gave us kids rides. I always wanted to look the part I was playing and so I was remember being all excited because my little brother had a leather jacket and I wanted to wear it. Unfortunately it didn't fit. I was very sad. I remember watching my brother, sister and neighbor girl whiz around town in the leather jacket. I think it was my Mom who suggested that I wear my jean jacket. So I ended up getting my flowered jean jacket and wearing it instead thinking that I looked so hardcore.

When I look at this picture now, the first thing that strikes me is my loud clashing clothes. But that didn't bother me then. I loved my stretchy flower pants and jean jacket. I thought I was so cool blazing around Arborg on the back of my Uncle Rogers bike.

I remember the exhilaration of flying down the highway just outside of town. I felt so free. The thrill, the rush of the wind around my face I was in my adrenalin seeking element.

Picture#4 Summer 97

This picture was taken when we were camping. I'm not sure where we were camping. In this picture my Mom and I are sitting by the fire and talking.

I do not remember this specific conversation or camping trip but I remember many other times sitting and chatting with my Mom about whatever was going on in my life. My Mom was the kind of Mom that I could tell anything to. My Mom would listen without judging. She would pray for me and offer advice but only after listening.

I remember that trailer. Many times we loaded it up with old pots and pans, puzzles, cards, board games, badminton rackets, soccer ball, frisbee, sleeping bags, candles, swimsuits, noodles, and lots of yummy food. Then we would go camping in it and our old Ford Mercury.

When I look closely at the picture, it looks like I'm trying to whittle a stick. The year before my parents had taken my older cousin camping with us, and he was always whittling roses, so the next year whenever we were camping I kept trying to make roses.

This picture is a snapshot that captures a taste of the kind of relationship my Mom and I had.

Picture#3 1996

This picture was taken at my Grandma Weik's house. Grandma Weik was a wonderful older woman from our church, who adopted us as her grandchildren.

Mom and us kids drove out to Grandma's farm to spend the day with her. We headed out around lunch time. Grandma served us a wonderful farm meal of homemade noodles, some kind of meat and a myriad of dishes made with garden veggies.

Then we would go out to her huge garden and "help" her.

Afterwards, for coffee, she let us have our favourite cookies, those wafer cookies with layers of icing. Her house was the only place we got them because Mom would only give us homemade cookies. I remember sitting and pulling them apart layer by layer and scraping the icing off with my teeth before eating the cookies. The silky sweet sensation of the icing flooded my senses with security as I listened to my Grandma and Mom's voices rise and fall in "adult" conversation.

By the end of the day Grandma would have bags of garden produce for us to take home with us. Then at the end of the day just before we left she would let us free on her beautiful flowerbeds to pick any flowers we wanted to take home in a bouquet. She was such a generous woman. Her death was hard on us all. I remember crying with my Mom in our basement. We were both heartbroken. Grandma meant so much to us both. I will always aspire to be as loving and generous as Grandma was to me.

Picture#2

I found this picture in the '95 envelope but I'm not sure if it is from Christmas '94 or '95. There are few clues in the picture. I can see that this is my class' Christmas play. I am front and centre as Santa, which I was for k-Gr.2. I remember the teachers telling me that I had the loudest clearest voice and so they wanted me to be Santa. Sometimes I wanted to be a pretty glittery star like the other girls instead I was bundled into layer upon layer of clothes, pillows, and beard as Santa. I remember being upset about being Santa and complaining to my Mom I don't remember what she said but I do remember that it made me feel a lot better and by the end of our conversation I felt proud to be Santa. I remember having to wear my teacher's big black boots in Gr.2 but I can't tell from this distance whose boots I am wearing. At least I had the only speaking role. "Ho Ho Ho Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight"

Picture#1 May 3, 1994

Zachary less than 12 hours old.

My Mom wrote that on the back of the picture, and that is all I really know about this event.

This picture was taken when my brother was born. My Mom is sitting on the hospital bed, and my sister and I are standing beside her. My Mom looks young and beautiful. My sister is being cute and cuddling my brother, who is wrapped in a green striped blanket. I smile largely. My eyes are folded in by my cheeks and my smile is very lopsided. I cannot really remember this time of my life. One thing I remember is that I always wanted to hold my brother.

Our local hospital still has the same vinyl covered chairs. I sat in them ten years later in October on my birthday when my Mom lay, silent and immobile, in a hospital bed. Instead of the jubilant woman celebrating the birth of her son my Mom lay as a rag doll, limp unmoving, and unseeing.